There’s no use pretending this isn’t super emotionally hard.
So, one of the chicks came home with some kind of illness. When she got here, she had one eye open and the other seemingly glued shut.
I had been trying to very gently coax the other eyelid open by tenderly cleaning it with a soft, warm, wet cloth. No luck. Four hours later when I checked on the chicks, she now has both eyes glued shut.
This chick is now blind.
It’s a pitiful sight. She can no longer find her food or water, and when she can’t perceive anyone else around her, she emits the saddest distress chirp. Oh that was so hard to hear.
I tried to see if she was ill, but she isn’t sneezing or exhibiting any other symptoms I can see. She’s lost her interest in food and water, and feeding with a dropper is out of the question. She’s too weak to be interested in nutrition.
This chick is dying, and I can’t figure out why, and I can’t make the minutes until her passing any easier because I am powerless to reach her. Nothing makes sense.
It was during this time when I reflected on a wonderful couple I know, who have just endured a miscarriage. My heart really thought about their hope, and their work, and wondering what it was for, but more importantly how could it be that something so innocent and small could be lost for no apparent reason? Why did it have to happen?
I cried a lot. I cried for this couple, and I cried for this chick, so innocent, experiencing darkness and fear, and me feeling powerless to stop it. I got some encouragement from Enko and from my sister. I googled some stuff, but no one seems to be able to help.
I’ve got to think about this. I’m not ready to give up yet.
Book recommendation: Mother Angelica on Suffering and Burnout, by Mother Angelica.