Finding Your Blue Flame

Does anyone remember the early 2000’s when everyone was all about the film The Secret? Oh my goodness, it was manifest-mayhem. People were out manifesting their destinies all over the place.

Hats, t-shirts, socks, pashminas everywhere, all engraved with the Super Secret motto of “follow your bliss.” I can even hear the creepy whisper from the film, supposed to be your Best Self telling you from the future the things you already carry in your heart from a universal knowledge held firmly within Source and delivered to you via the umbilical energy of using affirmations to train the subconscious to live your Best Life.

Now, I know that sounds a little bit critical, and maybe that’s a good thing. I’m always in favor of weighing and measuring the logic of stuff, mostly because that’s what I personally need to do, otherwise I’ll wind up cooking up some kooky/ridiculous life plan that always gets me into trouble. Seriously, when The Secret came out, I probably watched it a hundred times, and if you knew the absolutely ridiculous mistakes and mis-steps I made during that time period in my life, you’d be totally on board with me taking an extra moment or two to question my current buffoonery levels.

Image from Pexels

All tone of criticisms aside, I actually like the term “Blue Flame.” It makes an abstract concept a whole lot easier to talk about! Here’s the meaning behind the symbol:

The Blue Flame

The idea of a Blue Flame calls to mind an ordinary flame, like the one on a candle. The hottest part of the flame is not red, or orange, or yellow. The area that is the hottest part of the flame is actually blue.

Therefore, your “Blue Flame” is that thing, that mission, that purpose that totally ignites the spirit within you. You’re the whole candle in this scenario, in case you couldn’t tell.

If you’re Catholic (and even if you’re not), you can think of it as that thing that God put you here to do. Your life purpose! In Secret terms, it’s your bliss, and you’ll simply not be happy or satisfied with what you are doing with you time until you follow that bliss wherever it may lead you. Commit! Or forever know you’ve missed the opportunity and you’ll be a sad candle for all of your days!

But, here’s the thing:

You are not a machine.

You are a person, and YES it is true that God put you here in these days, on this planet, during these times. YES, it is true that you are here for a reason.

You’re not junk. You are not worthless. You are not some cosmic twist of fate of atoms colliding, or whatever the Atheists are saying, I have no idea.

You are not just some meaty animal.

You have a soul.

You have a soul! You have a soul that was given to you by a Creator who loves you.

And you are here for A purpose, but I don’t want you to feel that you are here for only ONE purpose, not the way we humans think of it, anyway. You are not an order number in some catalogue of humanity, meant for others to push some button and receive one talent from you, like you’re some sort of vending machine. That’s consumerist thinking. We don’t consume people, it’s just bad manners, not to mention nutritionally unbalanced.

…bet you never thought you’d get your daily motivation from someone who talks about life purpose and cannibalism in the same post, DID YOU?

You were meant to be a celebrity life coach……

Sincerely, -your Best Self telling you from the future the things you already carry in your heart from a universal knowledge held firmly within Source and delivered to you via the umbilical energy of using affirmations to train the subconscious to live your Best Life


I mention this because there are TONS of people who have zero idea what their Blue Flame could be. Or worse: they have 8,000 different ideas of what their Blue Flames could be! Now that’s much worse–now we have people running around distracted, trying to hit marks in all 8,000 different categories because they just don’t know which one is going to be a spark that catches fire and darn sparkly blue flames distracting us everywhere and Katniss Everdeen!!!!

It’s chaos, people!

PANIC! At a Blue Flame Disco Ball

Image from Pexels

I have had a fascination with words my whole life, but I still can’t find any that could describe what God sounds like.

But I know what God does NOT sound like….God does NOT sound chaotic. Ever. Chaos, separation, distraction, those are things that are not of God. If you are searching for your Blue Flame, and you are spinning around in circles, stop a minute.

Seriously, just hold still for one second. Read my proposal here:

What if you do have a Blue Flame, BUT ALSO
What if you’re meant to have several Blue Flames over the course of your life?

What if all you can do is live in the present moment, where you are in your life, today, right now?

Maybe you’re not meant to know what your Blue Flame is for the whole course of your life. Maybe God knows that you are a mere mortal (perhaps because God made you that way) and that you are meant to grow and change in this life, in preparation for becoming more holy on your way to Heaven. Maybe your mission is one thing today, and it’ll be an entirely different thing in 5 years. What if you’ll need lessons from this mission in order to complete your next one?

One little light at a time

Image from Pexels

When you get a quiet moment, just sit and enjoy for a second. Seriously, be comfortable. I want you to actually get to experience feeling grateful to be alive in this moment, right now. Just for this moment, you’re not going to worry about the past. Just for this moment, you’re not going to worry about the future. You don’t have to be an overachiever right now.

In this peaceful state, think: What is it in my life that could be A (meaning ONE) Blue Flame? I don’t have to think about all my Blue Flames right now. If a friend were to ask what they were, if I were to make a list, what is ONE of them that I would tell my friend?

List one. STOP AT ONE.

Hey, maybe you have more flames inside you. I hope so! After all, like I said, you are not some product in a predatory world, meant to be consumed in one particular way. You are multi-faceted! AND, you are only human.

(I KNOW–so intricately made AND a mere mortal? How could those things possibly go together? Well, as we Catholics say: I dunno! It’s a mystery!)

Work on one flame. Work on what you’re supposed to be doing right now.

Do it with your heart, do it with your soul. Really have the bravery to decide to care about it, make changes in your life to nurture it, fall in love with it, cherish it. It doesn’t have to be your whole identity, and then you’ll somehow whither away when it’s done. You’re not the boss over when your life ends, or why, so stop trying to be. Just do the one thing right now. It’s enough.

What is ONE FLAME I can nourish and keep burning in this current time in my life, today, right now?

You’re enough. You’re worthy. You’re growing. And you’re loved.

Sweet Freedom

The best part about letting go in this way is that now you are actually able to give yourself permission to bump into other talents you may have along the way, and to actually get to enjoy them without feeling guilt. It’s a wonderful life!

Love, Margaret.

Want more?

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Recommended Reading

Hildegard von Bingen: Entire works.
You can’t really go wrong with anything from her. Talk about having a Blue Flame–friends, Hilde Von B was the whole birthday cake. Seriously! Author, apothecary, abbess (like a Mother Superior big boss lady), traveller, visionary, musical composer, speaker…all of these things are impressive enough, now add the fact that she did it all as a woman in the Medieval era, and it’s hard not to start bust out singing some Aretha Franklin. Make sure something of hers winds up in the stockings of all of your feminist friends this holiday season.

Jennifer Fulwiler: One Beautiful Dream
Ok, Ok, it’s certainly convenient to me to mention her, since any way you slice it, she’s trending. But I’m very glad she is. Here’s a woman who really had to find her Blue Flame, and she talks about it often with humor that many of us can enjoy. People can sometimes think one little sign is now the prescription for their whole lives–women especially, thinking “Oh, I had a child, so motherhood is obviously my ONLY BLUE FLAME!” but then they write something that, turns out, is meaningful and benefits lots of people, so they think “Oh NO I did another good thing; how could God give me another talent, since developing this talent that God literally gave me would be CHEATING ON MY BLUE FLAME oh noooooo!” Jennifer Fulwiler shares her insights on how to do what God put us here to do without ruining our lives trying to be control freaks over the whole shebang.

St. John of the Cross: The Dark Night of the Soul
Of course, if you’ve already gotten to the point where you have tried to become a super control freak over the whole shebang of your life, you’ll probably really feel it when I say that you’ve likely left yourself unsatisfied…dare I say it, disappointed. Disillusioned. St. John of the Cross uses more complicated language, but it’s still worth a read for anyone who has encountered pride, and has gone-th they way pride goes….bang. This is a great book to read little bits of at a time, savoring and ruminating, and eventually coming back to a place of peace and relaxation in God’s presence.

Mother Angelica: Practical Holiness
Here’s a different perspective on what we’re meant to be up to. According to Mother Angelica, our one and only job–the one thing we are meant to do with our lifetime–is to learn to be holy, and to prepare ourselves to be reunited with God in Heaven. Don’t worry–she’s got ideas, tips, advice, and tons of comfort to offer in this book that anyone can follow, at every stage of life.

And of course,

Margaret Nelson (Yours truly!): The Ten Minute Quit
This book was written for folks who are recovering from smoking nicotine like I did. However, the methods I used sent me on TONS of discoveries about who I really am, my natural skills and talents, and the passions in my heart that were waiting, buried under hurts and issues I had been using cigarettes to cope with.

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More Recommendations

A dose of positivity to your day, Pollyannie shares her discoveries exploring her God-given talents in her blog, as well as shares the surprise adventures that God sends her on. Find her at:

Mother Angelica
Yes, yes, I know: MORE Mother Angelica?! I just love her. I’m so grateful for her work, and for recording so many of her talks so that I could enjoy watching her get off topic for a joke, tell her renditions of what may have happened during Biblical times, and quoting Scripture in-between sips from her mustache cup–which she needed because her nose was too long to avoid the ice cubes in her water! She was a great teacher who taught me about the faith, while also teaching me not to take myself so seriously. Worth a watch, or in my case, a few dozen watches.

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